he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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