Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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