apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
