definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
