i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
