This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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