you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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