There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
