Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
