Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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