spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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