i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
