He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
