Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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