dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
