The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
