He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
