Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
bring money and cleavage
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
