I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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