Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
