they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
