Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
