She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the day after is always just damage control
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize