This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
