The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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