Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
