Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just cropdusted the office
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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