a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
