Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
