I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
