My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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