And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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