i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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