Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
