People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
