sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
