this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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