His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize