why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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