he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
whose parrot is this?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
