I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
