No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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