my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
