I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
