There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
