he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
