are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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