Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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