someone threw a dead crab at me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I intend to get homeless drunk
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
