Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
