did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
