I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
