Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
