I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
