so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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