Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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