clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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