Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
