honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
