So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
