my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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