Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
